Welcome! By the end of this Module you will increase your knowledge and skills on:
Using various agencies (police, courts, child protection agencies) as a tool
What Makes Our Institutions Vulnerable to Potential Perpetrators’ Manipulation?
How to speak about violence with the perpetrator?
General & specific questions
Why do we need to work with perpetrators of DV?
Do programmes for perpetrators work?
The role of the police
Police receives a call from John, saying that his wife Marta is screaming & hitting the kids. He says that he is worried that she might seriously harm children, especially as she has diagnosed depression, & she is currently in a psychiatric treatment.
The police checks the records & finds out that John has been accused for violence against Marta 3 months ago, however, the criminal charges were dropped by the prosecutor for the lack of evidence, & there were no other measures activated.
When arriving to the family home, the police officers find Anna (12 years old) sitting in the corner of the room & playing video games, & Marc (6 years old) crying & hugging his father. Marta is also crying & apologizing to the kids. She is saying that she behaved badly to the kids, that she feels sorry, that she has hit both of them. John is saying that Marta is dangerous for the kids, & that child-protection services need to react, as her mental illness is getting out of control.
After speaking with the family members & further exploration of the situation, the police officer decides to send the case to the prosecutor & inform child protection services.
What might happen next? How might the system react?
What could be the consequences of these reactions to Marta & the kids? And for John?
Adapted from the Engage project.
Illustration taken from the Safe & Together Institute, publication: How domestic violence perpetrators manipulate systems
Perpetrators are often trying to use various agencies (police, courts, child protection agencies) as a tool to exercise power & control over their (ex) partners. Why?
Making False Allegations
Exploiting Survivor Vulnerabilities
Using status, Power, Finances & Privilege
When we have higher expectations of mothers than fathers as parents we could:
Witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse.
Between 1/3 – 2/3 of children are also directly physically/sexually harmed by perpetrator.
DV is an attack on the relationship between the infant/child & their mother by disabling her physically and/or mentally so that she is not in a good position to parent.
1. When a child witness violence against the parent, usually mother. Just by seeing, hearing, feeling the violence, the child’s feeling of safety is usually deeply compromised, and this is the responsibility of the perpetrator as a parent.
Witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse.
2. When children are directly harmed by the perpetrator, which happens in some cases.
Between 1/3 – 2/3 of children are also directly physically/sexually harmed by perpetrator.
3. When mother’s capacities to parent are weakened, as a result of experiencing violence, and that also harms a child and his/her development.
DV is an attack on the relationship between the infant/child & their mother by disabling her physically and/or mentally so that she is not in a good position to parent.
It is important to highlight that we are usually focused mainly on the number 2 (when there is a direct violence toward a child), while we tend to forget, or undermine the other pathways to harm, which are equally impactful on the child’s development.
Exposure of children to domestic violence leaves serious & often longstanding consequences (Carlson 2000; Kilpatrick & Williams, 1997). Children who witness intimate partner violence & children who are abused experience similar consequences (Jaffe et al. 1986).
To address this vulnerability, we need to remember that:
Intervening with perpetrators
The police received a call from neighbours about shouting in one of the flats. The police professionals go to the flat, where everything seems peaceful. Both husband (Richard) & a wife (Emily) say that they had an intensive argument over their financial situation, that there was no violence, & that everything is ok.
During the interview with Richard, he complains of having a precarious job as a call centre operator & also of being the only one to work, since his wife Emily has only been taking care of the children since they were born. (“As a good father, I’ve always worked hard“). He criticizes his wife & is angry with her because she is inadequate with the children, she is too permissive, she neglects herself & the house, she does not set rules & she also “seem in no hurry” to find a job because she has always been “lazy & passive“. Richard would like Emily to leave the children more often with his mother, described as much more able that her Emily’s mother, from which he would like Emily to distance himself (Richard says to the professional: “You are expert and you know, she is the only daughter. The princess of the house. Some things are repeated from mother to daughter“). Even if Richard loves his wife, they often end up arguing for this reason.
What are the chances that there is violence in the presented case study?
What are the indicators that point this out?
How are things at home / with your partner? How would you define your couple relationship?
Most couples argue sometimes. How do you and your partner handle disagreements or conflicts?
How do you normally act when you are angry? What happens when your anger gets worse?
Do you think your partner (or children) are ever scared of you?
Have you said or done anything that you later regretted?
Have you ever acted in a way that embarrassed or scared you?
Have fights ever become physical?
Are you ever worried about your behaviour?
Do you feel jealous when your partner is with other people?
What do you think of your partner studying / working outside the home?
What would you say if she wanted to do it?
What do you think about your partner spending time with her family or friends?
Do you shout at your partner or do you think you sometimes treat her in an authoritarian way?
Have you ever hit or pushed her?
Have you ever threatened to hurt her? With a weapon?
Have you ever hurt her?
Have the police ever come for an argument or fight?
Has your problem X (stress, alcoholism, jealousy, etc.) affected your relationship?
In which ways?
What does your partner think of your problem of X? How does it affect her?
When you are X (jealous / drunk / nervous / etc.), how do you react with your partner or children?
When you have been very X, have you ever lost your calm with your partner or children? What exactly did you do?
When your problem X was worse, did you ever do something that you later regretted?
What is the worst thing that happened when you were X?
Being X, have you ever thought about hurting yourself or killing yourself?
And about hurting or killing somebody else?
This is specifically relevant in cases in which the police officers are not intervening for domestic violence, but have observed some of the indicators of violence in the family.
Run by specialized trained professionals.
Run for a longer period of time (minimum of 6 months according to the European standards for perpetrator programmes, usually once a week).
Usually group programmes.
Specialized interventions focused on ensuring the safety of survivors (mainly women & children) by working with perpetrators of violence to change their beliefs & stop the violence.
Perpetrators are causing the harm. They should be held accountable / take responsibility.
What “part of the iceberg” are we influencing:
Both perpetrators & their (ex)partners report significant decreases in emotional, physical & sexual violence after the perpetrator completes a programme.
WWP EN. (2023). Change is possible: Results from the IMPACT Outcome Monitoring Toolkit.
Some research indicates that the motivation of the perpetrator to accept help is the highest 7 days after the violent incident (the window of motivation), which shows the importance of making referrals to programmes as soon as possible. There are different reasons for that: the perpetrator is the remorse phase (remember cycle of abuse), the perpetrator is impacted by the situation and wants to show that he is cooperative and ok, the defense mechanisms which minimize the violence, justify it or blame others are still not so intense (memory of the incident is still fresh). Other institutions (courts, prosecutors, child services, usually step in much later).
Co-funded by the CERV Daphne EC Program. Grant Agreement no. 101096908
